Engagement

As the day dawned on 27th June, the Kundu family piled into Reema’s PT Cruiser to make the 2 hour journey from her home in Albany to Nicolas’ parents home in Katonah, NY. This would be the first meeting of the parents. Nicolas’ home buzzed with the busy excitement of his mom and dad getting ready to be the perfect hosts. What followed could have ruined the day. Reema’s car breaks down enroute with her giving a distress call to Nicolas to rescue them. The rain gods spoil painstaking plans of a picturesque garden luncheon at the Reveles’ home. However, the chaos soon fade away, with the warm welcome of the Reveles family and the delicious food. It gets even better and this day will forever be cherished. In a leisurely walk around the lake... Nicolas with his heart beating hard, pulls out a rock... no, literally a red heart-shaped stone..but before her laughter could die down, he goes down on his knees and proposes... this time with the real ring. And in that rain drenched afternoon, a delighted Reema accepts. As they head back hand in ringed-finger-hand back to the house, Reema happily muses, Nicolas finally proposed... the American way, but also heeded Reema’s wish that the happiness should be shared with the families... the Indian way.

Our Wedding

Overview

The Hindu marriage rituals originate in Vedic traditions and date back to nearly 1500 BC. The wedding rituals will be observed in the Bengali style since Reema is ethnically from West Bengal. Every step the ceremony is rich in symbolism of the sanctity of marriage. The marriage ceremony is divided into pre-wedding rituals and the actual wedding rites.

21 April: Aashirbaad (Blessings)/Ring ceremony

This ritual brings the families together to bless the would-be bride and groom. It marks the acceptance of the soon-to-be couple by their respective in-laws. The current trend also includes exchange of rings between the couple and gifts between the families.

This will be at the bride’s residence with both extended families. The dress code is semi-casual ethnic or western outfits to celebrate the joyous occasion

22 April: Vridhi Puja and Gaye Holud

This puja (worship ritual before a yagna) is offered to the ancestors of the bride and groom seeking their blessings. This is followed by Gaye Holud which is a ceremonial bath at the bride and groom’s respective residences by five or seven married ladies. Turmeric paste is annointed to the face and feet. This tradition can become fun and playful with smearing of turmeric between the ladies.

Dress code: Everyone one wears simple traditional or western outfits.

22 April: Dodhi Mongol

On the wedding day, married ladies will adorn the bride’s hands with Shakha and Paula (made of conch shells). These are traditional bangles that signify her married status. She will have a meal of curd and rice, the only meal till the wedding ceremony is over.

22 April: The Marriage: Saat Paak and Malabadal

The wedding rites or Lagna takes place on the Muhurta (auspicious moment) of the marriage. Usually Bengali weddings are in the evening. The mandap (canopy) is set under which the priest presides over the rituals. The ceremony starts with the invocation of the Lord Ganesha, Lord Vishnu and other Gods. A holy pitcher is established and the father of the bride receives the Groom with great honor. This is followed by the Saat Paak (seven rounds). The bride seated on a low stool, piri is lifted by her brothers and taken to the Mandap, circled around the Groom seven times and then brought to face him. During this entire time the bride keeps her eyes hidden behind beetle leaves that she holds in her palm. Shubha Drishti (auspicious first sight) with the bride lowering the leaves to look at her husband. Still sitting high on the piri, the couple exchange garlands, Malabadal (garland exchange).This can often end up in a game of who can lasso the garland on the neck of the other first, with friends hoisting the couple higher.

22 April: The Marriage: Yagna and Saptapadi

The couple then sit in front of Agni (sacred fire) and give offerings to the fire god as the priest chants sacred mantras. The cloth worn by the groom and the end of the brides veil are tied in a knot called gathbandhan. Saptapadi, seven rounds are taken by the couple around the fire thereby solemnizing the marriage. The groom puts a vermilion/sindur on the brides hair parting symbolizing her married status.

Brides outfit

Traditionally a brides saree is in rich red and gold hues. She wears a a Mukut (headdress) made of Shola which is a milky white plant matter skillfully carved with intricate designs by skillful Bengal artisans. The groom has a "Topor" too. Her arched eyebrows are framed with white and red alpona, done a decorative design. A bindi or kumkum, big red dot at the middle of the forhead.